Some boys kiss me, some hug me, I think they're okay...

What a weekend. I've been kinda seeing a guy for about two weeks and this weekend I broke it off completely with him. I realized that I was always in trouble with him and for one reason or another I was having to apologize. For stupid things. I just got tired of it. I also realized that I was only really physically attracted to him. He's 21 and pretty darn cute. But for me, that's about where it stopped. So immature and also way too into himself for my tastes. Ugh. Really I'm happy I nipped that in the bud before it got out of hand.

"There are too many questions, there is not one solution... There is so much confusion."
Yesterday John and I went up to Jerome to get the hell out of Phx for awhile. It was wonderful. I totally felt that I left Phx in Phx. Everything that had gotten under my skin was left behind. My head felt clear and I could think. I loved it. The town was so peaceful and QUIET!!! I loved that silence.

School is really beginning to kick my ass. I am so swamped with things to get done and homework and all that. So of course in the middle of it all I find this time to write... lol.

Yesterday my family got family pictures, great people.

many hearts; many years

This year I didn't go to the town's GI fest... known as the "M.E.A.T. Party." I'm not sure why, I didn't get an invitation in the mail... wait, I never got one in the mail. I always got my invite from someone at a bar. But I didn't go to bars much, so I didn't get an invite. And the part that I think of the most is that I really don't care.



I'm not who I was a year ago, thank goodness. I'm at a place in my life where I think I'm back on track. I wasn't myself for a few years, caught up in the glitz and glam of the gay lifestyle... it's fun and exciting. But I think I've learned to take it in moderation. At least I hope so.

Lately there have been a few hoops that I've needed to jump through, a few bumps for which I've needed to slow down. I've had to take a few steps back and think about what is important to me. Family, good friends, good grades in school, honesty, and integrety. I'm doing much better about my budget and I'm also doing much better about homework and getting to the gym and running a few miles.

I find that I'm happier these days as well. And I think I'm finally understanding that happiness really does lie in your own hands. And that's no secret.