weep not for the memories

So a tale of two boys has come to a close. I think I cared a great deal for them, but I never felt like there was much returned to me. I don't have the energy anymore to continue blowing in the wind.
Yeah, I'm kind of a wreck right now. But I'm happy with it, or at least I know that I have done something good for me. I'm sure I could write pages on both of them, but it suffices to say that they are part of the past. I'll look back on the times we shared, and I think I'll smile. I'll only let myself remember the sweetness, not the bitterness.

you left me out

I'm not always like this. It's something I've become. He is dating again. He's not dating me. I blacked him out of my life. It's all over. So dramatic, so over in a flash... I run faster, faster, I wish I could dance with you just one more time. Faster, faster I run from him. Don't blame me, I can't help who I am.
Go, go, go, go, faster, not fast enough. Run before the pain catches up, run faster. No time to look at the stars. No time to start again.

Stop. Wait. Turn around. Would you like to walk back with me? But I think I'll need to be walking for awhile. I wanted to give you my heart. My pain I feel is a real emotion. I'm jealous that you're dating another boy. I'm dark in my corner now that you have wings. I can't look you in the face just yet. I'm still trying to mean it when I will say I'm happy for you. Look at the earth, the brown dust. When will you take me? When will I return to my warm, brown mother? I hoped you would sleep next to me for all our nights and then the long one.

Something I've become. Terrible weakness, but it's my nature, it's my blood. I feel that if you heard me say I love you, you would not listen. It's all over, I don't think you care for me like I do you. I know this, you know this.

Okay, I need to walk alone for awhile now.