Friday, March 30, 2007

was 2005 really just two years ago?

Lately I've been dipping into '05 here and there... pictures and such. I think it's because I've just been in touch some with someone who was a major part of my life that year. It's nice returning to some damn good times. I felt like nothing could get better. Everything was going my way. I think that it was definitely a golden time of my 20s. I've been playing with pictures and some thoughts that have come to mind...

A sushi with sake. I don't remember winning or losing. We believed the world was at our feet.
Only the good moments of yesterday seem to remain. The entire nights with out sleeping. Wishing you'd just arrive already.
There was never a bad time, just ingenuity. When I sleep, the silence constructs a time that we shared smiles often, and the lights shone so brightly.
You'd just be lazy and I'd be lazy too. Who knew responsibility would sneak up on you and then on me. Who knew that I'd be writing you letters via snail mail, wishing you were somehow here again, yet so happy for your success.
My eyes wide open and ear full of water. Dreaming a dream of euphoria. Because everything.
I'm not very smart. I knew something was wrong. But I can't feel bad for what I never had. I'll turn to stone and lose my faith before I let it happen again. I'll be gone. Selling out is not my thing. Walk away. I won't be broken again, I won't fall apart.
"I still believe in your eyes. I just don't care what you've done in your life. I'll always be here by your side. Don't leave me waiting too long, please come by. I still believe in your eyes. There is no choice, I belong to your life. I live to love you someday. You'll be my baby and we'll fly away. And I'll fly with you. Every day and every night, I always dream that you are by my side, every day and every night. I said every thing's gonna be alright. And I'll fly with you."

Dream of me. I felt like I was going to explode of so much happiness. But when you go quiet, alone at night. Not at all. Look at me, who to be? Should I give a damn? I don't know who I am. Wishing to find beauty, someone as talented. I can say now you are special, you are someone I still look up to. But now I know that I am special too, special like you.

Some where way up high, as dreams fly with blue birds. They come true, just wish upon a star and look beyond the clouds. No toubles, somewhere. With green and red trees and flowers. Brightness of day, I like to laugh.

And I think to myself, what a wonderful world.

Friday, March 23, 2007

I'm not sure, but I think that I don't need to explain myself. We all interact in this life, and we all learn from each other. I have come in contact with some great people, and then some others. I enjoy the effect people have on my life when it's good, but I still learn from the bad. I might write in a script, coded by letters, but to me I let out my heart's and mind's thoughts, yearnings, cries, and joys. I don't know what to say to you except that I'm happy for you, or at least trying to be. Somewhere soul-deep down I still feel that we shouldn't have gone wrong, but stayed right. But trees sprout leaves in the spring; I still water my plants. I see the signs along the road I'm traveling and try my best to read them.