Dear Ancient Ice,
I don't really know what you're about. But I've had fun with you. I'm happy that you've morphed and changed with me. I still like you.
Love,
Ryan
Thursday, December 06, 2007
Sunday, December 02, 2007
I think Love hates me
Where did we go?
When did we go off track?
But this is where we are.
There's no point in looking back.
I don't know if those are lyrics, more than likely are, but I cannot place the song they belong to.
Someone from your past lingers in your life. You never know where you stand with him. You just think it's nothing, but every time you see him you have to fight a feeling. Something you don't understand. Something that you know you feel for him, and you don't know why. So you fight it. Dismiss it as nought. It's nothing. Make it go away. You've known him for almost a year now. Nothing has ever happened. Nothing ever will. Accept it and move on. Distance and lack of communication help you to move on. You're okay. It was nothing. Just a moment that has passed.
Months later he's in town again. You go to his mom's house to help set up a Christmas tree. You immediately feel at home. It's a fun evening, setting up a Christmas tree, who wouldn't feel at home? Laughter and conversation fill the evening. Then you look at him and as if you were hit by a large stick, all those feelings come back. The rest of the evening you try to be cool, and you think you've gotten away with it. But at the same time you're sick. You wish you could just reach out to him and pull him close to you. You long touch his face, yearn to steal a kiss. The same void opens slightly in your chest, between your lungs. The goodbye was painful; the hug awkward. You want to just kiss him, but at the same time petrified of ruining anything. His actions all night were friendly. Nothing less, nothing more. You release from the hug and duck out of the door. The walk to the car is a blur. You can only think that you're walking away, not towards.
Now is the time get over it. But anger surges: WHY THE FUCK AM I ALWAYS SAYING GOODBYE TO THE PEOPLE I FEEL MOST STRONGLY ABOUT? WHO DEALT THESE FUCKING CARDS? WHEN CAN I GET OFF THIS FUCKING RIDE? I'm ready to be done. I don't know how much more I can take.
Go on don't sit there like a fool. You've graduated from a different kind of school. At least I have felt for him what I thought I was no longer able to feel. At least I know I still can feel strongly for someone. I know there's someone out there waiting for me. There must be someone, there just has to be.
When did we go off track?
But this is where we are.
There's no point in looking back.
I don't know if those are lyrics, more than likely are, but I cannot place the song they belong to.
Someone from your past lingers in your life. You never know where you stand with him. You just think it's nothing, but every time you see him you have to fight a feeling. Something you don't understand. Something that you know you feel for him, and you don't know why. So you fight it. Dismiss it as nought. It's nothing. Make it go away. You've known him for almost a year now. Nothing has ever happened. Nothing ever will. Accept it and move on. Distance and lack of communication help you to move on. You're okay. It was nothing. Just a moment that has passed.
Months later he's in town again. You go to his mom's house to help set up a Christmas tree. You immediately feel at home. It's a fun evening, setting up a Christmas tree, who wouldn't feel at home? Laughter and conversation fill the evening. Then you look at him and as if you were hit by a large stick, all those feelings come back. The rest of the evening you try to be cool, and you think you've gotten away with it. But at the same time you're sick. You wish you could just reach out to him and pull him close to you. You long touch his face, yearn to steal a kiss. The same void opens slightly in your chest, between your lungs. The goodbye was painful; the hug awkward. You want to just kiss him, but at the same time petrified of ruining anything. His actions all night were friendly. Nothing less, nothing more. You release from the hug and duck out of the door. The walk to the car is a blur. You can only think that you're walking away, not towards.
Now is the time get over it. But anger surges: WHY THE FUCK AM I ALWAYS SAYING GOODBYE TO THE PEOPLE I FEEL MOST STRONGLY ABOUT? WHO DEALT THESE FUCKING CARDS? WHEN CAN I GET OFF THIS FUCKING RIDE? I'm ready to be done. I don't know how much more I can take.
Go on don't sit there like a fool. You've graduated from a different kind of school. At least I have felt for him what I thought I was no longer able to feel. At least I know I still can feel strongly for someone. I know there's someone out there waiting for me. There must be someone, there just has to be.
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