Really Bored at Work

If I were a stone, I would be: an emerald
If I were a tree, I would be: a pine tree
If I were a bird, I would be: a lark
If I were a machine, I would be: an electron microscope
If I were a tool, I would be: pliers
If I were a flower/plant, I would be: an apple tree
If I were a kind of weather, I would be: partly cloudy
If I were a mythical creature, I would be: a unicorn (do we not love The Last Unicorn)
If I were a musical instrument, I would be: a triangle
If I were an animal, I would be: a giraffe
If I were a color, I would be: blue
If I were an emotion, I would be: concern
If I were a vegetable, I would be: potato
If I were a sound, I would be: a soft sigh
If I were an Element, I would be: carbon 13
If I were a car, I would be: Dodge Durango
If I were a song, I would be: “Has to Be” by Madonna
If I were to trade places with another person, it would be: Guy Ritchie
If I were a movie, I would be: My Fair Lady
If I were a food, I would be: Stir Fry
If I were a place, I would be: Bristol, England
If I were a material, I would be: Canvas
If I were a taste, I would be: minty fresh
If I were a religion, I would be: LDS
If I were a word, I would be: search
If I were an object, I would be: scrub brush
If I were a body part I would be: a cheek bone
If I were a facial expression I would be: mildly amused
If I were a subject in school I would be: Art History
If I were a cartoon character I would be: Calvin from Calvin and Hobbes
If I were a shape I would be a: polygon
If I were a number I would be: 37
If I were a month I would be: October
If I were a day of the week I would be: Thursday
If I were a time of day I would be: 10:23pm
If I were a direction I would be: west
If I were a piece of furniture I would be: a writing desk
If I were a sin I would be: envy
If I were a historical figure I would be: Joan of Arc
If I were a liquid I would be: mercury