Imagine my Reality

This morning in the shower I did something I haven't done in quite some time. I day-dreamed. I was up earlier this morning so I had a few extra minutes to spare and before I knew it I was performing Evita on Broadway and had millions of adoring fans and was going to film a movie co-starring Jude Law.

And then the thought hit me: I couldn't remember the last time I was in a day dream that was all about me being something incredibly wonderful, living a wonderful life. I couldn't remember the last time I day-dreamed. I loved it. I devoured the self-indulgence.

I have been so preoccupied with school, work, and so much other stuff that sums up reality, I forgot to just let my mind free and live in whimsy. It was most liberating. As I walked out to my car in my scarf, gloves, and sunglasses (why not?) I wondered if my neighbors knew they were living next to one of the world's most famous actors/singers.

I used to have a pretty good imagination. Even to the point the art teacher in high school was recruiting me to be on the year-book staff. When I would do things for my classes that entailed props, I never went half-way. To this day, the set I designed and built for Act 5 of Romeo and Juliet to be perfomed using puppets is in that English teacher's room.

Who is that Ryan? How could I be so care free and relaxed, that things just came, just flowed to me; that imagination was always part of my reality. It kept life exciting for me as a child. As I've gotten older, I've lost a lot of it. But I want to reinstitute it. I want to not take life so seriously, and not take love so seriously. "I know there's someone out there, waiting for me. There must be someone out there, there just has to be." But in the meantime, I'm going to find me and love me. I 'm going to love strangers again, and make people I hardly know feel they are important. I thrive on seeing others happy, I've been somewhat caught up on myself lately, or on the illusion of me, working, studying, being boring.

I want to love life, just like I used to when I was a kid, when I was a teenager. There are still a lot of first times out there, and second times, and fiftieth times. If the imagination is present, why should I ever live a mundane life again? Others may perceive me as that, but only if they could taste the adventure that I am going to call life. And of course, everyone is invited.