wa Wa, wa Wa-wa.

Hypersensitive would be an understatement. Or maybe more accurate would be extremely stressed (and trying really hard to just be cool and function as normal). Fuck, Fuck, Fuck. Fuck, Fuck, Fuckety Fuck.
My friends have all decided to cut each other’s throats. I have to pass a test on Monday if I want a shot at a semi decent grade in my biochemistry class. I need to let a “someone” know that I’m just not feeling it, and we need to just be friends. The one, in whom I’m interested, and I have skidded to a stand still. I want to push us on again, but he’s acting like he’s wanting to get out of it… or I just may be hypersensitive. Maybe what I should just do is let him tell the other what he might tell me and I can just avoid it all.
Maybe the only bright spot this weekend is that I get to babysit my niece and nephew. They are so sweet. And I’m really looking forward to just spending time with them.

I’m always an optimists (except when it comes to relationships. But right now the positive energy has gone off to fuck itself. I want to be upset and mad right now. I want to be depressed and indignant. I want to beat the living hell out of something. I want to drive my car really fast for a very long time. I want to cry and pout.
But doing any of those just isn’t me. I deal with my pain, anger, depression by either going jogging or calling my mom. I just don’t have time to be upset. Life is too short. So I guess after I write this and scare away what two or three readers I may attract on a bi monthly basis, I’ll feel better (if I haven’t bored them away as of yet). I tell ya, this blog has been rather boring, and I just am at a loss at what to do to spice it up. I know that it’s all about me, and what I want to write, but even I’m bored of it.
I wish I had clever things to say about life like the other bolgs that I read. I wish I had the time to search out beautiful boys and put them here. I love ohlalaparis.com. I leave that to them. And they put stuff on about Madonna every one in awhile. They were the first blog I ever visited.

Story:
I was bored at work and so I went surfing for Madonna pictures. A google image search. I saw one of Lourdes, Madonna and the Versace lady. And it took me to ohlalaparis. I’ve been a fan ever since. So I go through their blog mates and then eventually end up on tlc’s page. I really liked and identified with what he said. The phrase that won me over was “The memories of my childhood and adolescence are now so far removed from whom and where I am now, they have become more than just an arm length away. You see, I can’t reach back and hold on to them like I used to.” That explained how I was feeling at that particular time. So I’ve been a fan since. I think my ideal blog would be a hybrid of those two.

There I feel much better already.