Tuesday, March 29, 2005

The Eternal Judgement of the Spotty Mind

Time: 10:30PM
I am happily studying for Econ when the thought occurs to me that I really have no food in the house. I'll just shop tomorrow, I think. No I've been saying that for three days now. And I really have no food. What will I eat for lunch? Breakfast? Knaw on the boxes in the trash? Even I won't stoop to those levels (were you sitting down?).

10:34PM
I concede to go to the supermaket.

10:36PM
Jamming to Erasure while driving to the supermarket.

10:41PM
Arrive at the supermarket, greeted by droves of workmen... a quick scan reveals that there is no candy fo be found in the throngs of workmen... unless trailer trash is your preference.

10:42PM
I begin to manuver my way around the cords, tubes, machines and men to select my produce that will help to sustain me for the week. At times I must abandon my shopping cart and perishable treasures and scoot through taped off work areas to retrieve my bread and milk. Who is this store manager and what was he/she thinking when he/she allowed dirty guys to work around my food, and not at the very least make the food obtainable with out running an obsticle course? I guess that's why they work at the supermarket.

10:51PM
In the ONLY OPEN checkout line IN THE STORE, with a line that contains at least a dozen people who are just as anxious to get out of the construction zone as I am, except for one sloppy bitch who deems her existence more important than ours and proceedes to very slowly unload her over-flowing cart onto the belt ONE ITEM AT A TIME.
To silence the angry voices in my head, I pick up an US magazine, all of a sudden worried that Britney might be pregnant. Wow has she put on the pounds, but I'd still boink her.

10:55PM
Interrupted from wondering just when Demi and Ashton will get married, a semi-cute store clerk tells me that he can take me at the next register. The two huge whales behind me huff and puff that I got to go first, despite the fact that they just had the one item, which was 400 tons of kitty litter (or something like that). I listen in on their conversation. They converse about work. They must work at the same place. It was a mother/daughter duo. How cute... Momma Whale was training Baby Whale to be a bonafide weird cat lady while stifleing all creativity and ambition baby might have by making her happy to work at a dead-end job with momma and take the love of cats over that of a lover. And then get knocked up once by a desperate, super ugly man to progenerate the cat-loving whale family (or something like that).

10:57PM
Happy to be in my secure gas-guzzling SUV; DAMN happy to be out of that store. But when all is said and done, it will be a nice store.

11:04PM
Home again, home again, jiggity jig.

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