I've been thinking about the boy all day. I don't know why I'm no attracted to him. But my heart isn't in it. My heart is still un-gluing itself from Another. And I think that I just need some time. The Other has 95% fallen into the brother/friend category. It's just that 5% that I'm waiting to come around.
But A co-worker said that I probably will never get over that. He might be right. But I honestly do now days think of him as a friend only. The thought of kissing him doesn't repulse me, but nor does it cause all the pixies in my mind to fly around and tickle my fancy.
I'm falling out of facination with the boy. I wonder if the Other and I had dated, would I have fallen out of facination with him after the glowing lights faded to reality?
But that's a question that will never have an answer. And quite frankly, I don't want it to have an answer.
Saturday night I went to Amsterdam and Charlie's and had a wonderful time talking to people and meeting new people, but the Boy was stuck to my side all night. I found myself wanting to flirt with all the new boys I was seeing. But I did see some friends out and always have fun shooing the shit with them. I'm excited for pride this weekend. But I'm also excited for the quiet nights before then as well.
I have met another who does tickle my fancy. I havn't told anyone about him. I'm not ready to introduce him to anyone. He may fade quickly. He may never materialize. He may not even exist anymore.
While I've never had the urge to randomly kick someone really hard, I have wanted to rear-end many a person... on a daily basis. With no real reagard for what it will do to my car because the mere satisfaction of rear-ending such person will give me all the satisfaction I need. Does this make me a closeted sociopath?
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