Talking of Things, of Cabbages and Kings

Something weird is going on. I'm not sure what to do, but what's funny is that I feel I don't need to know. I have found many things wrong with him. He is too this and too that, and not enough here and there. But I find myself still, with him. Into his eyes myself is carried. The looks he gives me. I feel things are just falling into place. I feel like I know him. I feel like the person who he is overrides any physical short comings or any annoying mannerisms he may have. Could I be maturing and falling for a guy rather than falling for his teeth or car or quick wit? It is still much too early to tell. The fruit basket could be turned over tomorrow, and everything could become a large muddle. But for now I find I'm content to let things happen, I'm content to not know where we are going or not going.

I bought a new shower curtain today. The old one hung in there well, but was getting as all shower curtains get. And it was time for a change. The new one has some of my favorite colors in it, a small array of blues. They make me happy to see them.

C once told me, after I had just finished a spiel about how I was done playing social coordinator and just going to concentrate on enriching my life without staying socially abreast, that he hoped I would still talk to people so we could get invited to parties. That comment made me realize that talking to new people and making friends, whether they become just acquaintances, friends for a day, week, month, year, or life, is just part of me. That is what I do. I am very generous with my friendship. CC has thanked me many times for being his friend and for taking him under my wing and including him. I told him that it just seemed natural, and that is what friends do.
That is what friends do, they make small sacrifices with out expecting anything in return (unless you borrow a 20 from me bitch... ;) and they give, and they take. I find that the relationships that last and are most dear to me are the ones that I feel I am in a constant receiving state. I try to give back as best I know how and as much as I can, but I still feel the debtor. I feel for any act of kindness I may give or show, I receive 10 fold in return. I feel that they will never turn on me, that they will never betray my trust, that they will stand by me in all things. I feel that I can trust my life with them.
And we may call each other friend, but actions speak louder than words and their actions have spoken. They are very few and very far between, but I know them and they know me.