wrestle with my darkness

So I think to a certain degree I'm still searching. I don't know what I'm looking for. I have an idea, but not anything set in stone.

I feel like Jabba the Gut today. I've been under the weather lately which has postponed my gym attendance even longer. I think I'm pushing a month of non-attendance. While I've been happy in my repose and eating all the chocolate I can lay my hands on while on this creative-difference break, I find that I am now thinking the gym is more my friend than chocolate. But both make me feel so good. Of course this is a simple everything-in-moderation fable (course between you and me and my belly an overdose of carido wouldn't kill me).

The girl of my dreams has consented to hang with me New Year's Eve (Yes, I am gay, but don't look too deeply into it). I'm so enraptured with her. "Once upon a time, there was a boy and there was a girl." Anyway, she makes me feel all warm and tingly inside. But I'd never date her. Did I mention I'm gay? That's just a great way to complicate things.

This weekend I was able to get up to visit my grandparents, whom I haven't seen in about a year. It was time. They were happy and healthy, it was a nice visit. But the 7 hours total on the road in one day was tough for me, but well worth it.