I hope it rains

The sky is overcast. But it's still 100+ degrees out there. I want it to rain. I'm almost ready to just drive to a city where it will rain. I want to sit in a cafe near a window so I can watch it. Or rent a room for the night and let the curtains be my shroud.

Sometimes, I remember. And the small hole in my heart, the one I am trying so hard to patch up, opens wide and takes me in.

That is why I want it to rain.

I went far too long, far too intense when I was younger. I forgot about me, and lost me. I know where I stand now, but it's very easy to slip back into yesteryear. But I have learned to not look back, but press forward. That is the only way I know to move on. I also have to move on despite where I would like to stay.