2 Years; Forbidden Love

So as of tomorrow, I will have been doing this blog for two years. And really, I'm quite happy with it. It has been just what I was wanting: a release for my thoughts.

So I continue:

This weekend was amazing, but due to it, I got sick yesterday and some today. I am now just feeling better. It was because I was having too much fun. But the rainbow festival was amazing. I spent it with my good friend CW and we interacted with his and my friends while there. I sometimes wish that there was more of an attraction between us because he would be the perfect boyfriend. But he is also one of the best friends I have. Not that we are constantly hanging out, but that I can trust him 100% and I know that he would be there for me, and he knows that about me.

Though the whole weekend (up until Monday morning) was a blast!, one particular instance remains in my head. That instance is seeing Joe. Joe has been with his bf for more than 10 years, I don't know the exact time, so I know that they are committed, but all the same I know that I have a huge crush on him. I have met him and talked with him many times before. Also, I know that he likes me more than just an acquaintance or as a friend of CW's. In other words there is an attraction between us and I can't help but flirt when I'm near him, and he does the same. CW even told me that Joe's bf was talking to him while Joe and I were talking, and mentioned that we were flirting. So it's no secret. And I'm definitely not going to act on anything. I'd love to, Joe is sexy and nice and someone to whom I'm very attracted. I want to kiss him, I want to experience what he tastes like. I'd like to feel his lips on mine. I'd like to brush his cheek and neck with my lips. That's my fantasy... and the only thing that I will do is continue to work out, jog, and eat right so that if anything, I know that him seeing me will give him a small high, in the sense that he knows that if he wanted me, he could have me.