"Miles Away"

That's my favorite song from the album so far. "All my dreams, they fade away. I'll never be the same." I feel that I'm in a transition: graduation, pharmacy school, new boy. My coworker and I were talking that life just seems to be going really, really well. We're both waiting for the shoe to drop, for life to slap us back down with a splintered ruler. But I get that life is what you make it. You get what you give. What goes around comes around. I've been trying really hard to be a good person; to not be victimized, to be strong, to let little shit go. "So far away..." could possibly be an introspection to where she wishes she were, to where she wants to get.
I feel so far away still from what I want to be, but so much closer at the same time.

I still struggle with letting the past go. There are still people who creep around in my thoughts that I thought, that I hoped were resolved, but they are not.
I still silently cringe when I hear their name. I still lower my eyes when I see them out. I still feel a hollow lump form in my chest when I hear news about them.

I wish I could let it go.
I wish I could just get over it.
I wish I could just go on.

I have moved on in my life. I have made progression. I think I'm a good person. I've learned from my mistakes. I've learned not to assume the worst. I've learned to just let people be who they are. I've learned to not expect anything from others, except myself.

But I still don't move on. I still digress. I still let myself get tripped up on illusions.

I hope with time I'll get better.