I woke up with this song in my head. He was staying over. I worried that he didn't sleep well. I know that I was up a lot. Weird, but I think I'm at the two-week-withdrawl. I find that I'm starting to find why I shouldn't like him. But it's just fear. He's still good, a great guy. My insecurities usually pop up around this time to convince me I'm happier alone. They say that he really doesn't like me. But what do they know?
I find that when he's away from me, I like him more.
My nail biting needs to come to an end. That is something I need to work on. Also I'm going to the gym right after the laundry gets done in the washer. This is all part of my goal for the 90 days.
I'm getting over some of my past. The only conclusion I could draw was that I just need to put it in a box and forget about it for now. I don't know how to deal with certain emotions and feelings that still creep up from time to time. I'm hoping that as time goes by I'll understand them more, or really learn to not worry about them. I'll truly get over them. I think it's all part of getting my ego in check. I'm still prideful about a lot of things and still indignat and angry about them as well. I still blame others in my heart for what happened.
I blame them for their weaknesses. I don't feel they are totally unscathed, and totally in the right. I don't think they handled it as they should have. But we are all still just kids.
I've learned that with age one does get wiser, but one is still prone to act childish. I thought that adults had it all figured out, but I see that we all are still trying to understand life and figure ourselves out. I don't think anyone really has it figured out.
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