I'm not going to be an angel. But it seems I try to attain it.
I feel like I'm in the same rut I have been in for a long time now. confidence is so funny. When will I get it? When I'm not confident, what am I? A victim?
I no longer wonder what happened, why things happened as they did between C and I.
I get it now.
I get that I was a mess beyond help, except though experience and my own introspection would I lift myself from. I think I'm still lifting. I think I'm over it. I hope I am. I'm pretty sure. I no longer look back with a devout fondness, nor disdain. I look back at it as a time in my life, just like other times in my life. There was joy, there was sorrow, but it was a time all the same.
This is fresh in my mind because a friend pulled some games on me and I saw that I didn't want to play anymore. And I feel that the only thing I can to which is best for both of us is to walk away.
Now I see that it's time to put my shoulder to the wheel. Rome was not built in one day, and neither will I become what I want to be. But it will take one day at a time.
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