So count to 15

So this guy has been spinning quite a bit on my playlist.

And I think he's he is 20yo from South Africa.

Sings a song, "Heaven." Where was that song when I was growing up and coming out?

And now today. I listen to the songs of yesterday and remember the emotions and feelings they evoked, and now the memory is all I feel. It's time to grow up and move on. but it's sad. It's never easy to leave familiar and jump into that unknown. I wanted to be the hero. I wanted our empires to grow and conquer each other, to become one and we'd rule the world from the top of the world. It would be our playground and we'd love each other and love in this life.
               But sadness is no longer a stranger
               Spring is turning into winter

               I can still laugh, but I'm forgetting all the happiness
               My heart is preparing to become a lonely hunter again

The only thing I can do is leave. He's content to be best of friends/roommates. He's honest with me. I'm not angry at him, I'm not upset with the situation. I just need to either settle (which I won't) or leave. Which I will.  I don't regret anything, I have learned.

Absolutely no regrets.

A Beautiful

So I've been thinking that I need to write again. Not for any reason other than sometimes I feel like the words, ideas, and sentences formulating in my mind are going to burst. Not that I have anything to say on anything regarding anyone else, but myself. Isn't that why most folks write? for themselves? Oh well. I begin this journey again. Welcome back, Welcome to join, Welcome, welcome.

So let's start the sweet madness:

I live in Anchorage now. And so far I love it. I moved up here for a boy. Well, it was the boy who helped pull the trigger to get me the hell out of Phoenix. I'm very happy to be gone, to be here.



I love this photo. Taken near my favorite group of trails. well, my favorite because I have explored them and feel that they are my home base. There are so many more trails to figure out and explore which are still only minutes from my front door.

I'll admit it's weird not having any friends here, or I should say any friends like I have in Phoenix. It's hard but at the same time it allows me the time I need right now to keep myself in perspective. I'm not getting any younger and still have a list a mile long of things I must accomplish before I sell the farm, so to speak.

Some goals - I think the same. I want to get that body and need to find the energy and the will power to actually do it.  The clock is my enemy (and yet I'm obsessed with time). I do collect hour glasses. Tonight I need to take it all in.

So just this bit of writing has helped to calm the swirling and whirling in my head. Mostly I just don't know where to go or what to do next. I shall do my bedtime routine and then read a book. Reading the Golden Compass books. So far pretty good.