I don't remember, CW, if I ever really loved you. But I know I felt something real for you. I won't say that now I'm strong after all these years. I can't say I'm no longer hurt. But I can say that I try to see from your angle and it was I who had to go. You had to let me go. I was poison and only poisoning you. I had to go learn. I'm still learning, but still falling out of love. You'll always be special to me. You were there during those impressionable years when I was young and learning who I was and where I was and what I was. God help me to still learn those enigmas. I don't know how to approach you, I don't know how to say I'm sorry since I still feel I left so much destruction behind me. I listen to the Nightbird and remember I'll Fly with You.
and then
the thought of you moving on without me. the thought that I'm not anything to you. you moved on and I still pine over this. I still struggle. I still can't learn to let you go. I still hold to the illusion of could have been.
well, that was a nice, cathartic stroll down some memories... now back to the regularly scheduled programs...
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