Oxymoron

Slowly, ever so slowly. I feel myself breaking away from him. I have set out with the goal to make my heart feel only friendship for him. I want him in my life. Anything more than friendship is unhealthy at this point. We need to start at friendship (and we never proceed further). When I’m away from him, I’m fine. But can’t say that the incriminating little though of wishing I could see him never crosses my mind. It’s when I’m around him I either want to tackle him and dig myself into his soul or I can hold back the deluge of affectivity. I need more practice being around him (That was a fun sentence).
Hmmm, just read the last few sentences and nothing really made sense or totally contradicted itself. But I do love a good contradiction now and then, being a gay mormon and all.

Also to anyone reading, I would definitely recommend reading Edinburgh by Alexander Chee. A very good book. I couldn’t put it down. I’m thinking that since I’m all about supporting the arts, I will buy the book and I’d like to read it again and write notes in it. There are a lot of hidden intricacies that tickled my fancy. Who said that good literature could only come from England, and selected neighboring countries between the years 1800 – 1950 (oh, that was me).