Plato vs. Eros

I think for the first time since I was a school boy, I am choosing to sit under a tree and read a book than go play during recess. Too many times lately I've felt myself wishing I could look at the ground and kick the dirt. I feel awkward and crude again, yet closer to myself than I've ever been.

I'm happy and content with where I am in life, and especially with where I'm going. I'm not perfect by any means, but I feel that I have the strength in me to conquer some old demons. And I must do it alone. For so long I've been pining for someone to cherish. But now I'm happy I don't have such a person in my life. The friendships I have give me all the companionship I need at this time.

But rather than feel my friends are going to run ahead of me on this road chasing their own dreams and passions and in the end leave me, I feel that I am here to cheer them on while I figure out my own path. I may not be as far as they are, but I'm no longer in any hurry.

I feel that I no longer need to base my life on where everyone else is, but rather where I am, and where I'm going.

I guess metaphorically speaking I'm drawing my bubble bath and I've lit a scented candle and selected a long novel to read. But my phone will be by the tub, should you call, or I need to chat.