I know where beauty lives

Today is world aids day. This day has caused me to take a step back and re-evaluate everything and do some introspection. I feel like this day was a gift, as they all are. I will get up tomorrow morning, I will go to school tomorrow, I will go to work tomorrow. I will watch Swept Away tomorrow (I’ve never seen it and was told to have plenty of booze on hand).

I will breathe tomorrow.

How great is that? A blessing.

I work at a pharmacy and I have come to see there is a small, yet noticeable difference between patients. I find that patients who are on meds for pain or something temporary, who could cut down on their drug dependency if they would improve their lifestyle, are the ones who are trouble. They are the ones screaming about insurance, about things not running according to their schedules. They are the ones that you take a deep breath before greeting. But the ones who are on meds because it is making a difference in a situation they have no control over, they are much calmer and grateful. This is all generally speaking, but I have noticed the difference.

I wonder how the world would be if we all had such an apparent count down hanging over us. Would the world become dark and troublesome? Would friends lose contact with each other? Would people hurt others for personal gain? Maybe so.
Or would the air smell sweeter? Would you stop and take time to appreciate the clouds, or how your favorite shirt feels next to your skin. The rhythm and warmth of your nephew’s breath on your neck as he’s sleeping. I like to think I would chose the latter, and I think that I will. I may not have aids, but I’m still moral. I don’t know where a car is that has my name on it, or what the future brings.

This makes all my other worries and fusses silly and small.

These days are here, at least for me, to make me realize that I’m human, and so is everyone around me. And reminds me that since we’re human together, we should fight diseases like aids together and stop fighting each other. How far could we advance as a human race? I’m not one to stick my neck out and try and change the world, but changing myself is something I am one for.

It’s world aids day, I could just as easily think of it as world human hope day.

“A man can tell a thousand lies / I’ve learned my lesson well / hope I live to tell the secret I have learned / till then it will burn inside of me.”