Last night the electricity went out. Luckily I had already made plans to go to dinner with a friend. Course I was his last resort since all his other friends had already made plans. But since I couldn't write the report, there was no point in staying at home. Dinner, ice cream, and then a drag show at a bar downtown. We saw some people there, some he was just getting to know and the same ones, I have known for quite sometime and acutally used to hang out with.
Just how quickly do I let friends go? Or do I get bored of people and move on? Maybe I'm looking for something and still haven't found it.
What do I enjoy in friends? I love to have conversations. Last night Na and I had a wonderful conversation during dinner. There was no real depth to it, no arguing, it was just very enjoyable talking about the shootings going around, about a cute guy in the resaurante, about our food, about a bazillion other things. He even commented that it was a conversation like we had on the first night we met. Maybe our friendship is like a sine curve, and the reason we get along so well is becuase we started at the peak or maximum of the curve, and have cycled through to the peak again.
Friday, July 28, 2006
Wednesday, July 26, 2006
interesting
Jeannette Wall's The Scoop column on MSNBC.com has picked up on the 'Madonna radio boycott' story that Billboard reported last week:
Singer’s fans have organized a petition demanding justice for Material Girl. Is Madonna the subject of a Dixie Chicks-like boycott? Songs from the Material Girl’s latest album, 'Confessions on a Dance Floor,' have been hits around the world, but hasn’t fared as well in the U.S. Some fans are alleging that radio stations owned by Clear Channel - a company with strong ties to the Republican party - are refusing to play her music because of the pop star’s comments blasting George Bush and the war in Iraq. Madonna has been an outspoken critic of the war and during her current 'Confessions' concert tour, makes obscene comments about President Bush. Clear Channel stations were said to be key in keeping the Dixie Chicks’ music off the air after one of them made highly publicized comments about being 'embarrassed' to be from the same state as George Bush. Nearly 5,000 Madonna fans have signed a petition that’s being sent to Clear Channel head Mark P. Mays, accusing the company of keeping the singer off the radio airwaves. 'The evidence that there is a boycott from American Radio is too obvious for words....Madonna rules the planet, EXCEPT for the USA,' according to the petition writer, who went on to note that Madonna holds the two top positions in the United World Chart, but a number of petition signers report that when they request Madonna’s music, they’re told by Clear Channel-owned stations she’s too old or not popular enough. A spokesman for Clear Channel told the Scoop he had no comment on the alleged boycott. 'It's not to say we won't have comment in the future - just not right now,' he said.
Singer’s fans have organized a petition demanding justice for Material Girl. Is Madonna the subject of a Dixie Chicks-like boycott? Songs from the Material Girl’s latest album, 'Confessions on a Dance Floor,' have been hits around the world, but hasn’t fared as well in the U.S. Some fans are alleging that radio stations owned by Clear Channel - a company with strong ties to the Republican party - are refusing to play her music because of the pop star’s comments blasting George Bush and the war in Iraq. Madonna has been an outspoken critic of the war and during her current 'Confessions' concert tour, makes obscene comments about President Bush. Clear Channel stations were said to be key in keeping the Dixie Chicks’ music off the air after one of them made highly publicized comments about being 'embarrassed' to be from the same state as George Bush. Nearly 5,000 Madonna fans have signed a petition that’s being sent to Clear Channel head Mark P. Mays, accusing the company of keeping the singer off the radio airwaves. 'The evidence that there is a boycott from American Radio is too obvious for words....Madonna rules the planet, EXCEPT for the USA,' according to the petition writer, who went on to note that Madonna holds the two top positions in the United World Chart, but a number of petition signers report that when they request Madonna’s music, they’re told by Clear Channel-owned stations she’s too old or not popular enough. A spokesman for Clear Channel told the Scoop he had no comment on the alleged boycott. 'It's not to say we won't have comment in the future - just not right now,' he said.
Thursday, July 20, 2006
I hope it rains
The sky is overcast. But it's still 100+ degrees out there. I want it to rain. I'm almost ready to just drive to a city where it will rain. I want to sit in a cafe near a window so I can watch it. Or rent a room for the night and let the curtains be my shroud.
Sometimes, I remember. And the small hole in my heart, the one I am trying so hard to patch up, opens wide and takes me in.
That is why I want it to rain.
Sometimes, I remember. And the small hole in my heart, the one I am trying so hard to patch up, opens wide and takes me in.
That is why I want it to rain.
I went far too long, far too intense when I was younger. I forgot about me, and lost me. I know where I stand now, but it's very easy to slip back into yesteryear. But I have learned to not look back, but press forward. That is the only way I know to move on. I also have to move on despite where I would like to stay.
Wednesday, July 19, 2006
up and coming
The song going through my head, and the song playing on the stereo is "Speeding Cars" by Imogen Heap.
The lyrics that run from neuron to neuron are "...it's just textbook stuff, it's in the ABC of growing up..."
I always wanted other people so listen to her quiet wisdom, and then I realized that they applied to me. I'm still sumbling and fumbling about in my heart-brain connection. I'm trying to get things in order and it's not coming along as quickly as I'd like it to be.
But safety first, don't push please, what's the hurry?
Slowly my feet are returning to the ground after they were temporarily unglued from the cement, and I was able to escape and fly for a time.
The lyrics that run from neuron to neuron are "...it's just textbook stuff, it's in the ABC of growing up..."
I always wanted other people so listen to her quiet wisdom, and then I realized that they applied to me. I'm still sumbling and fumbling about in my heart-brain connection. I'm trying to get things in order and it's not coming along as quickly as I'd like it to be.
But safety first, don't push please, what's the hurry?
Slowly my feet are returning to the ground after they were temporarily unglued from the cement, and I was able to escape and fly for a time.
up and coming
The song going through my head, and the song playing on the stereo is "Speeding Cars" by Imogen Heap.
The lyrics that run from neuron to neuron are "...it's just textbook stuff, it's in the ABC of growing up..."
I always wanted other people so listen to her quiet wisdom, and then I realized that they applied to me. I'm still sumbling and fumbling about in my heart-brain connection. I'm trying to get things in order and it's not coming along as quickly as I'd like it to be.
But safety first, don't push please, what's the hurry?
Slowly my feet are returning to the ground after they were temporarily unglued from the cement, and I was able to escape and fly for a time.
The lyrics that run from neuron to neuron are "...it's just textbook stuff, it's in the ABC of growing up..."
I always wanted other people so listen to her quiet wisdom, and then I realized that they applied to me. I'm still sumbling and fumbling about in my heart-brain connection. I'm trying to get things in order and it's not coming along as quickly as I'd like it to be.
But safety first, don't push please, what's the hurry?
Slowly my feet are returning to the ground after they were temporarily unglued from the cement, and I was able to escape and fly for a time.
Monday, July 17, 2006
another day
To give you an insight on how amazingly dull my life is, the highlight was when a friend came over so we could go grocery shopping together. Lately it has become a group effort because he isn’t leaving the house much since in exactly one week, he will be in Tucson preparing to take the Bar Exam tomorrow, in a week. So in an effort to make the most of every minute, he has combined necessary chores with socializing. He feels that he has had human connection while at the same time he is able to buy bread and sustain his life one day more. This makes perfect sense. If you’re studying for the bar.
I on the other hand, really have no excuse or real social life for that matter other than sitting at home pretending to study for physics and I am constantly cleaning up the apartment. I can’t prove anything, but I swear there are some gnomes that come into the apartment when I’m not here and trash the place. And by trash the place I mean they use dishes and don’t wash them when done, and leave lots of papers around my desk, and worst of all, they get that black stuff and make sure it gets all over the bottom of the bathtub so I have to scrub it every four days just to keep somewhat clean, because the next time I go to take a shower, yup, there’s the black stuff again. But I should add that Tuesdays are extra busy because I have to water the seven plants that live, or mostly live, in my house. But I love them, and I tell them that. And I think I have four of the seven fooled. But definitely not the fern. I have to keep an eye on him. I think he’s got the potential to become unruly. I do have a job at a restaurant, but due to scheduling conflicts I don’t work there a lot. But I am hoping to find a job at a pharmacy soon.
I on the other hand, really have no excuse or real social life for that matter other than sitting at home pretending to study for physics and I am constantly cleaning up the apartment. I can’t prove anything, but I swear there are some gnomes that come into the apartment when I’m not here and trash the place. And by trash the place I mean they use dishes and don’t wash them when done, and leave lots of papers around my desk, and worst of all, they get that black stuff and make sure it gets all over the bottom of the bathtub so I have to scrub it every four days just to keep somewhat clean, because the next time I go to take a shower, yup, there’s the black stuff again. But I should add that Tuesdays are extra busy because I have to water the seven plants that live, or mostly live, in my house. But I love them, and I tell them that. And I think I have four of the seven fooled. But definitely not the fern. I have to keep an eye on him. I think he’s got the potential to become unruly. I do have a job at a restaurant, but due to scheduling conflicts I don’t work there a lot. But I am hoping to find a job at a pharmacy soon.
Sunday, July 16, 2006
as of lately
More often than not, these days, I find that I really don't have a lot to say. To friends. To family. To myself even. I wish that I had the answers, or a remark, or even something germain to perpetuate the conversation. But I don't.
I might be meloncholy these days. I can't say why. My life goes on but not the same. I was touched by people. I know that I lived a lot of life in a short and small time. Now I'm playing catch up for my already spent time.
But it was worth it. Well beyond worth it.
I've got some bemoanings to do, and dwell on negative things, but I won't. Not tonight. I've also got a lot of reasons to be happy. Good friends who make me dinner on a Sunday night. Sweet people who live half way across the world who have made my life better. Family that will stick by me in the think and thin.
I'm blessed.
I just wish that I could solve problems I see people I care for go through. But they need those trials. That is the only way that they will learn. And as a friend, all I can do is be there to dust them off, pick up pieces if needs be, extend an encouraging word, be there just to give a hug.
I am trying to be positive and I want that positive energy to circulate in my life and those with whom I come in contact. So much to be grateful for, so much to make me smile.
Yes, I am happy.
I might be meloncholy these days. I can't say why. My life goes on but not the same. I was touched by people. I know that I lived a lot of life in a short and small time. Now I'm playing catch up for my already spent time.
But it was worth it. Well beyond worth it.
I've got some bemoanings to do, and dwell on negative things, but I won't. Not tonight. I've also got a lot of reasons to be happy. Good friends who make me dinner on a Sunday night. Sweet people who live half way across the world who have made my life better. Family that will stick by me in the think and thin.
I'm blessed.
I just wish that I could solve problems I see people I care for go through. But they need those trials. That is the only way that they will learn. And as a friend, all I can do is be there to dust them off, pick up pieces if needs be, extend an encouraging word, be there just to give a hug.
I am trying to be positive and I want that positive energy to circulate in my life and those with whom I come in contact. So much to be grateful for, so much to make me smile.
Yes, I am happy.
Thursday, July 13, 2006
you know who you are
When do you lie? When do you tell the truth? Do you laugh when you're happy? Do you cry when you're sad? Do you remember when you were young? On a clear day do you see forever? In the early morning can you hear angels whisper? When with friends do you feel love? If you're alone do you let down your guard? Or is it from yourself that you're running? Do you know who you are?
I've been so high, to the sky. I've been so down, to the ground.
I was so blind I could not see, your paradise is not for me.
But I remain in your life with a light above my head.
I've been so high, to the sky. I've been so down, to the ground.
I was so blind I could not see, your paradise is not for me.
But I remain in your life with a light above my head.
should I just swallow the hot coal? or take a bow?
What to do when you think your heart is going to burst right out of your chest? What to do when you think you must be dreaming, when all five of your senses have been heightened, when reality seems to have taken a momentary detour leaving you in something sur-real? Euphoria settles in and all reason leaves. You give in to everything you know you shouldn't.
But just as quickly as it began, it is over. Reality comes rushing back to take hold of your existence once again. What do you do?
I took a bow, the night was over, the masquerade had ended.
But was it me that was acting? I wonder if when you say your lines, do you feel them? Do you mean what you say when there's no one around, watching you watching me?
I'm not in love with you, but I could easily should I let myself. But I think it's better to end this show before you get to the part where you break my heart. You play the clown so well, you deserve an award for the role that you played.
But neither one of us know which way this story will go. You're my lonely star, someday you'll know who you are.
But just as quickly as it began, it is over. Reality comes rushing back to take hold of your existence once again. What do you do?
I took a bow, the night was over, the masquerade had ended.
But was it me that was acting? I wonder if when you say your lines, do you feel them? Do you mean what you say when there's no one around, watching you watching me?
I'm not in love with you, but I could easily should I let myself. But I think it's better to end this show before you get to the part where you break my heart. You play the clown so well, you deserve an award for the role that you played.
But neither one of us know which way this story will go. You're my lonely star, someday you'll know who you are.
Saturday, July 08, 2006
musings
I was cleaning out my closet today and wow there was a lot of junk that I got rid of and re-organized everthing. When I moved in, I was so tired of unpacking that a lot of stuff just got thrown in the closet.
So today I finished unpacking. I came across some old stuff from years gone by: an old journal from the mission, a book full of writings that people had written for me when I left that country, some old papers I wrote in freshman English. These were all memories that I placed back in their boxes and hopefully in years to come I will enjoy finding them again.
And then there were a few items that belonged neither on the shelf or in a box. They were the space clutters as I call them. They are out since there is really no place for them. "I should just throw them away." That is what I thought about them, but the instant afterwards I knew that I couldn't. They didn't have a special space or carefully wrapped and stored in a box. They weren't on display on a shelf somewhere. But all the same, they belonged.
Aren't there things in life that we don't know where they really go? But they are in our lives and should they be thrown out or dissapear, we would realize their absence?
An old Abercrombie cologne box that I have and just keep a few odds and ends in... nothing really important, but I can't bring myself to throw it away. It gets tossed aside everytime I clean, yet I always fish it out of the trash in the end. Does it have sentimental value to me? It might but I can't really place a memory to it. It's just been around for a long time and I can't get rid of it. I'm by no means a pack rat. I tossed quite a bit of stuff, including some old high school papers that I'd been holding on to for no real reason. Some old binders got the boot.
So today I finished unpacking. I came across some old stuff from years gone by: an old journal from the mission, a book full of writings that people had written for me when I left that country, some old papers I wrote in freshman English. These were all memories that I placed back in their boxes and hopefully in years to come I will enjoy finding them again.
And then there were a few items that belonged neither on the shelf or in a box. They were the space clutters as I call them. They are out since there is really no place for them. "I should just throw them away." That is what I thought about them, but the instant afterwards I knew that I couldn't. They didn't have a special space or carefully wrapped and stored in a box. They weren't on display on a shelf somewhere. But all the same, they belonged.
Aren't there things in life that we don't know where they really go? But they are in our lives and should they be thrown out or dissapear, we would realize their absence?
An old Abercrombie cologne box that I have and just keep a few odds and ends in... nothing really important, but I can't bring myself to throw it away. It gets tossed aside everytime I clean, yet I always fish it out of the trash in the end. Does it have sentimental value to me? It might but I can't really place a memory to it. It's just been around for a long time and I can't get rid of it. I'm by no means a pack rat. I tossed quite a bit of stuff, including some old high school papers that I'd been holding on to for no real reason. Some old binders got the boot.
Sometimes I wish that I had a laptop. Just so I could lay in bed and type down all my thoughts as they enter my head. It seems that the 12 feet from my bed to the computer desk is enough time and distance to dissolve any brilliant ideas I have while laying down, watching the fan make its endless rotations, both of us wishing we lived in a place where it didn't have to constantly be in motion.
But for breakfast I had toast with boysenberry jam. Yum.
The day looks like it's going to be hot today. So much for thinking I might trail run today. But there's always tomorrow, though for some strange reason, I don't think I will be getting up at 6am to go running.
Last night a lot of the past people in my life were out and about. It was kinda weird when you remember how you two used to be pretty darn close and always had a good time and for some undefined reason, yet definitely a reason, you now just look at each other when glancing up from your conversation with the same regard as a stranger. In some aspects it's good, in others it's creepy that people could be so cold.
Do we give to just get something? Do we want something back?
When we no longer feel that we are getting what we need, do we turn our backs? Or do we overlook the lack of reciprocation? Maybe that is why we love and cannot for the life of us define love. It's that endless mass of energy that fills in the cracks where our mortality simply cannot cover. It bends and molds to how we need it to be. It comes in varying forms, from common courtesy to passionate love to a quiet friendship. That's how we make sense of putting up with the constant flaking out of some friends while others get the slip and we "forget" to return their text messages.
Or why we still call our mothers even though she will in one way or another add in the conversation that we need to leave our wicked ways and return to the light of God... "So you made chicken last night? I always knew you were a good cook, just like you are a strong person, are you going to go to church on Sunday? You have to work at it to get a testimony." And I reply, "the chicken was good, but I liked the tomato based sauce better."
But for breakfast I had toast with boysenberry jam. Yum.
The day looks like it's going to be hot today. So much for thinking I might trail run today. But there's always tomorrow, though for some strange reason, I don't think I will be getting up at 6am to go running.
Last night a lot of the past people in my life were out and about. It was kinda weird when you remember how you two used to be pretty darn close and always had a good time and for some undefined reason, yet definitely a reason, you now just look at each other when glancing up from your conversation with the same regard as a stranger. In some aspects it's good, in others it's creepy that people could be so cold.
Do we give to just get something? Do we want something back?
When we no longer feel that we are getting what we need, do we turn our backs? Or do we overlook the lack of reciprocation? Maybe that is why we love and cannot for the life of us define love. It's that endless mass of energy that fills in the cracks where our mortality simply cannot cover. It bends and molds to how we need it to be. It comes in varying forms, from common courtesy to passionate love to a quiet friendship. That's how we make sense of putting up with the constant flaking out of some friends while others get the slip and we "forget" to return their text messages.
Or why we still call our mothers even though she will in one way or another add in the conversation that we need to leave our wicked ways and return to the light of God... "So you made chicken last night? I always knew you were a good cook, just like you are a strong person, are you going to go to church on Sunday? You have to work at it to get a testimony." And I reply, "the chicken was good, but I liked the tomato based sauce better."
Friday, July 07, 2006
Don't ask the question, it has no answer.
The blinding light of the city, find it there.
Sidewalk illusions to try your soul.
Are you good enough? Am I good enough?
Famous places, foreign places, I've traveled them all.
Trading in the starlight only to see traffic lights.
The lead in my bones in the morning.
Take away my city girl,
Take her far away.
Take away my city girl,
Take her far away.
Little boats, little shoes, little hopes, little dreams.
The night air on my skin illuminated by neon.
Coffee rings hold no wisdom, silence no action.
Why would I want them to be you?
A stolen touch the last stolen glance, last breath.
Reflection in the water in the eye.
A substitute for the truth, for life, for love.
Take away my city girl,
Take her far away.
Take away my city girl,
Take her far away.
The blinding light of the city, find it there.
Sidewalk illusions to try your soul.
Are you good enough? Am I good enough?
Famous places, foreign places, I've traveled them all.
Trading in the starlight only to see traffic lights.
The lead in my bones in the morning.
Take away my city girl,
Take her far away.
Take away my city girl,
Take her far away.
Little boats, little shoes, little hopes, little dreams.
The night air on my skin illuminated by neon.
Coffee rings hold no wisdom, silence no action.
Why would I want them to be you?
A stolen touch the last stolen glance, last breath.
Reflection in the water in the eye.
A substitute for the truth, for life, for love.
Take away my city girl,
Take her far away.
Take away my city girl,
Take her far away.
Tuesday, July 04, 2006
hello, here I am. are you there C
I know that the internet is not the best place to bare your soul, but I do it because I need to know that anyone heard my thoughts. But today I do it so if by chance, he will read these words. At least I know that I did what I needed to do. I can't call or email him. I can't be direct. So I write to C.
You were the best friend I ever had. I see just how rich my life has become because you were in it. Thank you. You will never know just how profoundly you have affected my life.
I thought that I would not be able to live or breathe unless you were doing it with me. But you are. Though time and distance separates us we still breathe together, and that is enough for me.
I will always keep you in my heart, and when you creep into my thoughts I will no longer push it back but take time to think of you, and just how special you are to me.
You were the best friend I ever had. I see just how rich my life has become because you were in it. Thank you. You will never know just how profoundly you have affected my life.
I thought that I would not be able to live or breathe unless you were doing it with me. But you are. Though time and distance separates us we still breathe together, and that is enough for me.
I will always keep you in my heart, and when you creep into my thoughts I will no longer push it back but take time to think of you, and just how special you are to me.
Tuesday, June 27, 2006
mi orito
I watch the light slowly fade from the sky. I connect to the shadows as they fall, remembering the dark versus the light.
The sun turns a soft, golden face to the world for just moments more, before disappearing for another night.
The leaves wave in the gentle breeze as if bidding adieu to the long summer day and welcoming the cooler evening air.
I may have lived so much life in such a small and such a short time, that I didn’t even notice my own funeral.
The evening falls and the sun’s last few rays mingle and reflect from the moisture collected at the corners of my eyes.
As our short time together grew to a close, I fought to keep reality at bay, wanting our lives to intertwine forever.
When I was with him, I was a different person. I was carefree, I was all smiles, I was confident in the future. I placed my life on hold so as to be apart of his. Ashamed of the boring life I lead until he came, bursting into mine.
Just as magnesium burns with the luster of the noon day sun, our time at each other’s side shone like a sign to the future.
But just as quickly and intense as it burned, the light vanished and I was left in darkness. Wondering what became of us.
The sun’s last light bravely challenges the horizon, but as the cycle dictates, darkness has come to take its place.
I draw the curtains and turn on a small lamp. The dim, gold light it exudes brings a small smile to my face. I loved him.
And what you love can never let you go.
The sun turns a soft, golden face to the world for just moments more, before disappearing for another night.
The leaves wave in the gentle breeze as if bidding adieu to the long summer day and welcoming the cooler evening air.
I may have lived so much life in such a small and such a short time, that I didn’t even notice my own funeral.
The evening falls and the sun’s last few rays mingle and reflect from the moisture collected at the corners of my eyes.
As our short time together grew to a close, I fought to keep reality at bay, wanting our lives to intertwine forever.
When I was with him, I was a different person. I was carefree, I was all smiles, I was confident in the future. I placed my life on hold so as to be apart of his. Ashamed of the boring life I lead until he came, bursting into mine.
Just as magnesium burns with the luster of the noon day sun, our time at each other’s side shone like a sign to the future.
But just as quickly and intense as it burned, the light vanished and I was left in darkness. Wondering what became of us.
The sun’s last light bravely challenges the horizon, but as the cycle dictates, darkness has come to take its place.
I draw the curtains and turn on a small lamp. The dim, gold light it exudes brings a small smile to my face. I loved him.
And what you love can never let you go.
Friday, June 23, 2006
no one thinks of you, quite the way I do
I was watching the "Inevitable" music video. I haven't seen it too many times, but this time it struck me that she is singing a sad song about losing her lover in front of 1000s of screaming fans.
This caused me to think: Here she was with thousands of people loving her and screaming for her and yet she can only think about the loss of her man. When you lose the person who means the most to you, everybody else just becomes part of the background. You really don't notice that they are there or not because the one that you love isn't there.
Human, we are all too human.
I'm sure we've all been there. Probably more than once. But we always return to love and find someone new. After time of course. I'm a true believer that time heals all wounds.
Here are the English lyrics of "Inevitable" as sung by Shakira. Whether or not she translated them matters not. They are the closest translation in meaning I've ever hear a song translated from Spanish to English.
To be true I must confess, making coffee I'm a mess.
Don't know anything 'bout football.
Been unfaithful once or twice, cannot even win at dice,
As for watches I don't use one.
To be completely honest no one thinks of you, quite the way I do.
It's all the same to you now.
To be true I must confess, I never sleep at 12 or less,
Never take a bath on Sundays.
Since I'm telling you so much, I cry in earnest once a month,
When the weather turns to freezing.
With me nothing is easy, only you can tell,
you know me so well.
(without you everything's a bore)
(chorus)
The sky has seen a million rain drops fall, the hours seem to crawl.
And every day that passes is the same, just like yesterday.
I can't find anyway to forget you because to keep on loving you is inevitable.
Always felt that is was true, when we talk about us two,
I should be the first revealing.
I'm sure you know what's going on, nothing's better since you're gone.
At the very least I'm breathing, and you won't be returning.
Nothing left to tell, I know you so well.
(what will I ever do without you)
(chorus)
Always felt that it was true, when we talk about us two,
I should be the first revealing.
This caused me to think: Here she was with thousands of people loving her and screaming for her and yet she can only think about the loss of her man. When you lose the person who means the most to you, everybody else just becomes part of the background. You really don't notice that they are there or not because the one that you love isn't there.
Human, we are all too human.
I'm sure we've all been there. Probably more than once. But we always return to love and find someone new. After time of course. I'm a true believer that time heals all wounds.
Here are the English lyrics of "Inevitable" as sung by Shakira. Whether or not she translated them matters not. They are the closest translation in meaning I've ever hear a song translated from Spanish to English.
To be true I must confess, making coffee I'm a mess.
Don't know anything 'bout football.
Been unfaithful once or twice, cannot even win at dice,
As for watches I don't use one.
To be completely honest no one thinks of you, quite the way I do.
It's all the same to you now.
To be true I must confess, I never sleep at 12 or less,
Never take a bath on Sundays.
Since I'm telling you so much, I cry in earnest once a month,
When the weather turns to freezing.
With me nothing is easy, only you can tell,
you know me so well.
(without you everything's a bore)
(chorus)
The sky has seen a million rain drops fall, the hours seem to crawl.
And every day that passes is the same, just like yesterday.
I can't find anyway to forget you because to keep on loving you is inevitable.
Always felt that is was true, when we talk about us two,
I should be the first revealing.
I'm sure you know what's going on, nothing's better since you're gone.
At the very least I'm breathing, and you won't be returning.
Nothing left to tell, I know you so well.
(what will I ever do without you)
(chorus)
Always felt that it was true, when we talk about us two,
I should be the first revealing.
Tuesday, June 20, 2006
soapbox
So I'm breaking from the frenzy of information, and decided that I wanted to write notes on that Emerson speech. So I printed it out and began again. One of the things that jumped out at me was when he spoke of, "a people too busy to give to letters any more."
Well that sparked my memory, and I remember when no-so-many days ago, I used to get really nice emails from this guy N.
I think that we learned a lot about each other through those letters, and are most likely a reason why I feel like I've already known you for quite some time. And I think that Emerson may have been foretelling of an age when society is too caught up in being busy that it forgets to slow down and be personable with the other inhabitants of this world. Sure you know someone, but do you really know someone?
One of my favorite quotes is by Thomas Moore: "We need people in our lives with whom we can be as open as possible. To have real conversation with people may seem like such a simple, obvious suggestion, but it involves courage and risk."
You and I both know how difficult it is to open up and be honest with others... heck, we know how difficult it is to be open and honest with ourselves. But the recompense for doing so not only builds a strong relationship, but edifies oneself. I learn more of who I am and what makes me tick. Just like a therapist. A while back my aunt and I would talk for hours, ranging from our favorite works of art to who's dating who to why we want to relocate to Dallas to why we are so messed up in the head.
I'm not saying that you and I should feel compelled to do so, or that I'm looking to find something like what my aunt and I shared. I believe that every relationship is different, and it takes on the characteristics best suiting the included persons. But I am saying that the lines, the ideas that we have exchanged have been enjoyable for me and something good. I realized that even though we talk pretty much everyday, letter writing is a medium that has its own benefits, and allows certain ideas and subjects to develop and possibly form into more eloquence, thus being a necessary form of communication. Could you imagine me telling you this over the phone or text? LOL
So Emerson sparked me to take a break and let you know this via a letter.
I am looking forward to learning more of what The American Scholar has in store, but it seems it's time for study again.
Hope your day is going well and dinner with your uncle was nice. And you already know, but it seems appropriate to say it again, I'm proud to call you friend.
Truly,
ryan
Well that sparked my memory, and I remember when no-so-many days ago, I used to get really nice emails from this guy N.
I think that we learned a lot about each other through those letters, and are most likely a reason why I feel like I've already known you for quite some time. And I think that Emerson may have been foretelling of an age when society is too caught up in being busy that it forgets to slow down and be personable with the other inhabitants of this world. Sure you know someone, but do you really know someone?
One of my favorite quotes is by Thomas Moore: "We need people in our lives with whom we can be as open as possible. To have real conversation with people may seem like such a simple, obvious suggestion, but it involves courage and risk."
You and I both know how difficult it is to open up and be honest with others... heck, we know how difficult it is to be open and honest with ourselves. But the recompense for doing so not only builds a strong relationship, but edifies oneself. I learn more of who I am and what makes me tick. Just like a therapist. A while back my aunt and I would talk for hours, ranging from our favorite works of art to who's dating who to why we want to relocate to Dallas to why we are so messed up in the head.
I'm not saying that you and I should feel compelled to do so, or that I'm looking to find something like what my aunt and I shared. I believe that every relationship is different, and it takes on the characteristics best suiting the included persons. But I am saying that the lines, the ideas that we have exchanged have been enjoyable for me and something good. I realized that even though we talk pretty much everyday, letter writing is a medium that has its own benefits, and allows certain ideas and subjects to develop and possibly form into more eloquence, thus being a necessary form of communication. Could you imagine me telling you this over the phone or text? LOL
So Emerson sparked me to take a break and let you know this via a letter.
I am looking forward to learning more of what The American Scholar has in store, but it seems it's time for study again.
Hope your day is going well and dinner with your uncle was nice. And you already know, but it seems appropriate to say it again, I'm proud to call you friend.
Truly,
ryan
Saturday, June 17, 2006
the "lost" portion of the letter
I think I just worry about you. You said that I reminded you of a big bother. Maybe somehow, for some reason, I feel responsible for you in this big bad city Phoenix.
There's been a tough learning curve for me and I think I want to help you avoid that, or at least be there for you when you fall. Though I don't know what you've been through or what state you're in now. Maybe this is my subconscience thinking that I'm finally a trainer, and you're my greenie. Though I'm sure I'm far more green than you in many areas.
I care a lot about you, but I know that I'm at a point in my life where I cannot love you any more than that of a devoted friend. That may change in the future, but only time has that answer.
There's been a tough learning curve for me and I think I want to help you avoid that, or at least be there for you when you fall. Though I don't know what you've been through or what state you're in now. Maybe this is my subconscience thinking that I'm finally a trainer, and you're my greenie. Though I'm sure I'm far more green than you in many areas.
I care a lot about you, but I know that I'm at a point in my life where I cannot love you any more than that of a devoted friend. That may change in the future, but only time has that answer.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)