I dreamt last night that I tried to kill someone and then was running from the police for the rest of the dream. Why would I try and kill someone? It could represent many things. I think that it may be I’m still trying to figure out what went awry. Maybe I’m trying to just get rid of the confusion, or the hurt, or the memory. I don’t know. What I do know is that I was rejected for one reason or another, and it was only after meeting face to face. So I’m thinking it’s my physical appearance. Maybe I’m really ugly and everyone is just exceptionally nice to me.
It is what it is. But I still feel that I hit some sort of a wall. This has happened so many times that I would be foolish to get up again and dust myself off yet another time without putting some serious thought into what I need to do to change this predictable cycle.
I’m at a loss of thoughts on this matter. All I can think is that I need to bow out for an indefinite period of time.
I guess for now, I don’t believe in life after love. Sorry Cher, but I don’t for now. Um, really I don’t think I believe in love. Does that make me a stupid girl?
But I’m not selling out, I’m just walking away. I won’t be broken again. I’ll let it go for now, I’ll learn to not let it happen again.
Why do I feel sad for something I never had?
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