wishing I wasn't so affected

The evening is quiet. I think about you.
I miss your smell, your style, the way you form your words.
I think of how you look at me.
These are the things that I miss.
Now I enter a time not for the weak.
I've stood at the top of a tower and dreamt from the fields.
Why I let myself think I'd take you in my arms.
Traveling to that land not many have let me go.
I wonder what you do in your free time now.
I lay down my torch.
I lay down my sword.
I lay down my shield.
I lay down my heart.
I lay down my abandonment.
I lay down my breath.
I lay down my thoughts.
I lay down.
Five story fire. What a game we played.
What a mess we made.
What a fool I was.
What a mess I was.
A design I placed in the stars, but only to flush out with water.